Dirty Secret Read online

  “It is okay to say, Shin-Cho.” She reached over and clasped his hand.

  “My superior found me and another man in the showers.” His facial expression went flat, burying his emotions to get his words out. “The Korean is dongseongae… loving the same sex. The junwi, our officer, made it sound ugly. It wasn’t like that. It was one time… we were….”

  His mouth twisted, a bitter curl of shame and injured pride. Looking away, Shin-Cho hid the glittering tears in his eyes, and we all pretended not to notice, giving him time to gain some control. Scarlet stepped in to fill the silence.

  “Hyung brought Shin-Cho back here when he found out he’d left the military. Their family is not taking it well. Shin-Cho’s grandfather told him that he was no better than his father. That’s when he found out about Dae-Hoon.” Shifting against the arm of the couch, she continued, “I was Dae-Hoon’s best friend. We met in Korea. He was married, but unhappy. I’d fallen in love with hyung, and we were struggling to find a way to be together. Hyung and I came here. Dae-Hoon followed a few weeks later.”

  “We weren’t here long,” Shin-Cho interjected. “Maybe eight months? Maybe longer?”

  “About a year,” Scarlet said. “Then Dae-Hoon disappeared, and Ryeowon took the boys back to Korea. I didn’t see them much. Hyung visited, but you know….”

  I did know. Her lover had a wife and children, a wholly separate life in South Korea that Scarlet wasn’t a part of. It seemed to work for them. If it didn’t, Scarlet wasn’t saying anything.

  “My mother remarried. She didn’t want us to be… exposed to our uncle’s perversions. That is how my family puts it, just not to his wife’s face.” Shin-Cho had the good grace to look embarrassed. “I didn’t know about… nuna. I thought… she… I mean he… I didn’t know. I thought Uncle was with a woman.”

  “Yeah,” I said, letting him off the hook. “Nuna’s a hot woman.”

  “I consider it a compliment, dongsaeng,” Scarlet reassured us. Jae chuckled behind the rim of his coffee cup and failed at looking innocent when she tsked at him.

  “So your family knows about you liking men, and things went to shit.” I nodded. “I know how that is. I’m sorry it happened to you, man.”

  “It’s why I’m in Los Angeles. The Seong family… my mother’s family… is very traditional. There’s no room in it for someone like me.” He pressed his lips together. “My uncle said he would help me. He and nuna have been….”

  “It’s been a rough few weeks, Cole-ah,” Scarlet murmured. “All of this has opened up old wounds… old arguments.”

  “They think I’m this way because of something my father did. One of my uncles even asked me if my dad touched me,” Shin-Cho spat. “He says things like that, and they think I’m the one disgracing my family? I thought my father’d been killed in a car accident. So many lies are told to cover up something they hate. I need to find out what happened to him. I need something to make sense now, especially since my family….”

  “You have David,” Scarlet said. “Your brother is still with you.”

  “The one marrying your dad’s lover’s kid.” I still had a hard time getting past that tangle.

  My brain was spinning a bit. I couldn’t read the expression on Jae’s face. He’d shut down a few moments earlier, his features becoming a placid mask I couldn’t penetrate. What Shin-Cho was describing was Jae’s worst nightmare. The pain in the man’s voice nearly broke me. I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if I had to watch Jae go through the same anguish. It would kill me. It would kill us both.

  “David says he’s okay with how I am. He supports me, but the rest of my family refuses to even talk to me.” Shin-Cho sighed. “My brother’s wedding is Saturday. My mother is here in Los Angeles, but refuses to come if I’m there. I’ve told David that I’d stay away so she could be there, but he said no, our mother’s made her choice.”

  “What do you need me to do?” I tried to bring them back on track.

  “I’d like you to find out what happened to my father. I need to know,” Shin-Cho said. “Nuna was with him when he disappeared. After that, no one knows what happened to him.”

  “I think he’s dead, Cole-ah,” Scarlet said. “And Kwon Sang-Min is the one who killed him.”

  Chapter Three

  “NUNA,” Jae scolded her gently. She sniffed in response. No one can sniff like a pissed off Filipino transvestite. “We don’t know. We can’t say.”

  “It’s because she doesn’t like him,” Shin-Cho added. “I don’t like him either. He stares at my brother oddly. Now that I know about him and my father, I like him even less.”

  “Okay. Let me ask you something.” I tried to be as diplomatic as I could. I’ve sat across from a lot people who wanted to find answers to things before. They didn’t really want answers. They wanted to be told there was nothing to be found. Too often, those same people ended up with answers they didn’t really want to hear. I wasn’t certain what Shin-Cho was expecting to find. “What do you think’s going to happen if I find out anything? What do you need to happen?”

  “Maybe I can understand my father a bit more? I don’t know,” Shin-Cho admitted. “I hate that no one looked for him, other than nuna and my uncle. He was a problem that went away, and they didn’t care. I can’t live with that. Not if he went through how I feel. I can’t, Cole-sshi. I just have to know.”

  “Why don’t you tell me what happened, nuna.” I turned to Scarlet. “I can’t promise anything. It’s been a hell of a long time.”

  “Trying is enough,” Scarlet said, and Shin-Cho nodded briefly, his eyes fixed on his clasped hands. “There are some powerful men involved, hyung included. You have to promise that you’ll be discreet, honey.”

  “Discreet is my middle name,” I assured Scarlet.

  “Your middle name is Kenjiro,” Jae snorted. “It means second son who is nosy.”

  I ignored Jae and dug a notebook and pen out of the stack of work things I left on the coffee table. “Let’s start with what happened.”

  “It was in….” Scarlet paused, counting the time back. “November of ninety-four. Dae-Hoon and I were at a bathhouse here in Los Angeles… in K-town. Bi Mil was more like a club. There was a floor where we could dance, and there was a pool of sorts, but it was small, barely big enough to hold twenty men. I would go there to meet hyung. We were… younger. Things were harder. It was harder for us to be together.”

  “This place—Bi Mil—made it easier to meet up?” I made a note to find the address in case I found some older gay men who were around at that time. Too many moved to friendlier climates or died from the disease that ate its way through the gay community. “Lots of people to get lost in? What was the clientele like? Did you have to worry about someone going too far with a scene, or something?”

  “It was mostly Asians, like Dorthi Ki Seu, but well, more hidden. Dirtier, really.” Scarlet laughed softly, and a gentle blush colored her face. “Not as classy. More like some place men could go to for relief… not love or companionship. Hyung and I could take one of the rooms and spend time together… without anyone seeing us. He wasn’t as… secure as he is now. Being seen with me would have meant trouble for him. It’s different now. So different.”

  “You and Dae-Hoon were there together? Then what?”

  “There was a raid. There were men dressed all in black. They said they were police….” Scarlet’s voice dropped, rough and torn from emotion. “This was after the Riots, but the police then, they were still brutal. They blamed us for so many things. Hated us for so many things. We would never go out alone, not to the clubs. Being gay then… was dangerous. Even though things were changing, it was still hard.

  “That night,” she continued softly. “When the police came in, Dae-Hoon and I ran down the hall. There were doors on the side of the building, and I thought we could get to one and get outside. Those men… those police… followed us. I didn’t think about it at the time, but afterward, I thought, ‘Why did they follow onl
y us? Why didn’t they grab the other men first?’”

  “They grabbed you and Dae-Hoon?” I prodded gently.

  “No, not me. Just Dae-Hoon. Me, they hit,” Scarlet said, shaking her head. She lifted her long dark hair away from her face. The sunlight coming through the living room windows hit the shallow half-moon scar near her temple, throwing the edge of it into shadow. Something sharp had gouged out a tiny piece of Scarlet’s skin, leaving behind a memento of that night.

  “Was….” I realized I didn’t know Scarlet’s lover’s real name. “Was hyung there yet?”

  “Not yet. Not then.” She leaned back into the couch and looked worn. “There were so many men running out. By then, the cops were hitting everyone. So many of us were bleeding and crying. Hyung was outside, just coming in when the police came. I didn’t think about it. He was just there, and I was safe. I told him Dae-Hoon was still inside, but he put me into a car and told the man to drive off. Later, hyung said no one saw Dae-Hoon… no one could find him. That night was the last time I saw him. I searched. I called everyone we knew… even his ex-wife… but he was gone.”

  “Ex?” I asked. “They were divorced?”

  “Not yet,” Shin-Cho said. “My mother said he’d started it, but they were still married when he died.”

  “He didn’t want to hide anymore,” Scarlet said, tilting her head. “His family… everything… he walked away from everything, because he said he was tired of lying to protect other men like him. Dae-Hoon was angry about how the family was treating him. Hyung told him not to make trouble, but I don’t think Dae-Hoon cared anymore.”

  “Who was he there to meet? Anyone in particular?” I reached for Jae, putting my hand on his. Shin-Cho’s dilemma mirrored his own life too closely for him not to be affected, and I was grateful when his fingers tightened on mine in return. “Who was Dae-Hoon meeting that night? Who knew he was going to be there besides you and hyung?”

  “Kwon Sang-Min,” Scarlet whispered. “He’d broken it off with Dae-Hoon, but Sang-Min asked him to come with me, and then they’d meet. I don’t think Sang-Min was ready to give Dae-Hoon up. I don’t know. We’re not close.”

  “Does his family know?” I asked. “Kwon’s family, do they know he’s gay?”

  “No. He is not like… hyung. He goes from… he is not looking for love. For Kwon, young men are just for his… use,” she replied. “He’s someone hyung knows. I hear gossip sometimes, but I haven’t paid attention. He treated Dae-Hoon badly. I don’t think he’s treating any of them any better now.”

  “Is he close with… okay, what’s hyung’s real name?” I finally asked.

  “Seong Min-Ho,” Scarlet laughed.

  “Are Kwon and Seong close?” I wrote down the names as best I could. I’d have Jae look over my spelling later when I could be mocked in private.

  Scarlet pursed her mouth. “They know each other. Both are second-generation chaebol. I don’t know when they met.”

  “They went to university together,” Shin-Cho said. “Sang-Min told me that when he met me.”

  “So both gay and exiled to America?” I drew boxes around their names and dotted a line between them.

  “I have something else,” Scarlet said. “When Dae-Hoon didn’t come back, hyung offered to have his things stored. I can get the key for you. I have it in my jewelry case.”

  “Does Seong know you’ve come to me?” Seong was at the top of my list of people to talk to. He could have not told Scarlet if he knew something’d happened to Dae-Hoon in order to spare her from any unpleasantness. What I knew of the man, he struck me as someone who’d ruthlessly take care of business, then say it was all kittens and roses.

  “He knows,” she replied. “He said he’ll make time to talk to you if you need it.”

  “I’ll need to,” I said, nodding. “So you’ve had Dae-Hoon’s things in a storage unit for almost two decades? You haven’t taken a look at it? Or taken Shin-Cho there?”

  “No.” Both she and Shin-Cho shook their heads. “It hurt too much, but I wanted the boys to have his things when they found out the truth. When I told Shin-Cho about his father’s things, he thought you might like to look at it first, in case there is something to help you.”

  “I miss my father, Cole-sshi, I do,” Shin-Cho said. “But nuna shared with me what photos and letters she had. I can wait to see the rest.”

  “Who packed his stuff?” My main concern was someone’d already filtered through Dae-Hoon’s belongings. If there was anything incriminating, it could have disappeared long before a single box reached the storage unit.

  “I did some. Dae-Hoon’s roommate helped. There wasn’t a lot,” Scarlet replied. “They both used to work for hyung.”

  I had to assume that if Seong had anything to hide, Lee could have taken anything Seong didn’t want found, but with Scarlet there, it would have been harder to hide. Seong walked a tighter rope then than Jae-Min did now. “Tomorrow… well, today is Thursday. Can you get me the key later? I’ll see what I can find.”

  “You need sleep first,” Jae reminded me. “And if you go, it has to be on Friday. We’re going to the wedding on Saturday.”

  “Eh?” I tried to remember if I’d been asked to attend a wedding, then remembered Jae had a booking for one. He had help in the morning for the formal shots and the wedding, but asked me to help him for the evening reception. The look he gave me was suspicious, as if he’d expected me to forget. “Oh no, don’t give me that look. I’ve got it blocked out on my phone. Even Claudia knows. Big wedding. Help Jae or die.”

  “You’d wish you were dead if you forgot.” Jae gave me an evil eye that would’ve made his cat jealous. “I would make sure it would take you a very long time to die.”

  “I’ll see you at my brother’s wedding, then.” Shin-Cho stood up. “Unless you’re coming tonight too?”

  “What’s tonight?” I stood when Scarlet got to her feet, moving out of the way so she could get past.

  “The rehearsal dinner,” Jae whispered. “Don’t worry. Andrew said he’d do that one with me.”

  “No need to whisper. My feelings aren’t hurt.” Scarlet lightly slapped his arm as she passed him.

  “What? Why would your feelings be hurt?” My lack of sleep was beginning to wear on my brain.

  “Because mistresses… even male ones… are not invited to chaebol weddings.” Scarlet paused near the front door, sliding her flats onto her tiny feet. “But I’ll be fine, musang, so long as your Cole finds out what happened to Dae-Hoon.”

  THE bedroom curtains did their best to keep out the morning sun, but they failed miserably. I was too tired to care, and besides, the light made the room bright enough for me to watch Jae as he got ready for bed. We were both exhausted. I’d barely gotten my jeans off and brushed my teeth before falling onto the mattress wearing only my boxers. For all my dick’s willingness to give it a good try, I knew I wouldn’t get much more than a bit of foreplay before I passed out. The puffiness under Jae’s eyes reassured me he was feeling the same.

  Still, it was a damned pretty sight to watch him shed the pants and tank top, to crawl into bed next to me. I liked the boxer briefs he liked to wear. They molded the fullness of his ass and left his belly button bare. He’d talked about piercing the skin above his navel, a plan I oddly endorsed.

  It felt good when he slid up against my side and traced the alarmingly increasing scar patterns on the left side of my chest. They ached beneath the surface, the nerves being pulled by the puckered skin as I moved. His touch soothed away the tingles, and I grunted when he pinched my side.

  “Stop getting shot,” he murmured, kissing the newest and smallest of my scars.

  His cousin Grace’s gun had been a small one, nothing like the police issue cannon Ben used to shoot me, and it left a much tinier imprint on my body. As gunshots went, it didn’t do a lot of damage, and I’d recovered from it quickly. Jae and Claudia hovered constantly while I went about trying to regain the strength in my shoulder, so
it would take some time for them to break that habit.

  From the looks of things, neither one of them were making any progress in that regard.

  “I might have to talk to Seong, but I don’t want to.” I let my fingers trail down Jae’s spine. “Especially if I can’t find any place else to start. It’ll make trouble between them.”

  He felt warm. Good. His skin heated up under my touch, and I caught a whiff of the green tea soap he used. My body warmed up too. I had to remind it I was too tired to do anything more than talk and cuddle.

  “I know,” he murmured. His breath ghosted over my nipple, and I had another talk with my dick. “Nuna knows too.”

  “Keep doing that, and we’re not going to get any sleep,” I warned him. “And I’m too tired to give you a good time. It’ll look bad on my report card.”

  “I’ll leave good marks,” Jae teased. He lightly bit at the nipple he’d hardened, then pulled back, resting his head on my arm. “Your Korean is bad. It’s like your tongue doesn’t work. You keep saying who-young.”

  “You of all people know that my tongue works fine.” When he remained silent, I nudged him with my fingers. “Seong Min-Ho. How’s that? Am I going to embarrass you if I talk to him?”

  “No, you did fine. Scarlet left you his business card. It’s got English on the back you can read.” He yawned, his jaw cracking slightly. I winced and rubbed at the spot near his chin. “Do you want me to call him for you? He loves nuna. He’ll help you if he can.”

  I was debating the stickiness of calling up Scarlet’s lover to grill him about a possible murder when a perky pop tune jiggled Jae’s phone. It vibrated across the end table, and he sat up quickly to grab it. The bedsheets slithered down around his hips, a soft emerald green framing his back. The frown on his face was thunderous, and his body went taut. There was a brittle, hard set to his shoulders that worried me, and I reached over to touch his back, hoping to reassure him.

  “Aniyo.” He shook his head at me and pulled away, nearly recoiling from my hand. “Umma.”